1) Bright green food is not harmful
2) being Kneed in the nuts can possibly turn you into a homo
3) Ghosts need time to learn the layout of houses
4) Holidays in your parents' RV with your feminine friends are boring
5) Always take a "group fund" on holiday
6) doing kinky stuff with corn is what chicks dig
7) people in nilbog dont have much to do so they feed kids ice cream
8) you can't piss on hospitality
9) don't expect to see any trolls in troll 2
10) Leaving meat in vinegar the whole night gets blood out of it
11) when your on fire, a pair of gloves will magically appear on your hands
12) doing bench-presses every night does not equip you to fight goblins
13) if someone throws a spear at you very slowly, its best just to watch it enter you
14) before e-mail and mobile phones, messages were conveyed on tennis balls
15) tightening your belt will make you less hungry
16) coffee's the devils drink
17) the stone henge magic stone is a magic stone from stone henge
18) some mothers fave songs include row row row your boat
19) "eating with a voracity that has no equal on earth" means "smearing liquidized vegetables gently over your un-moving lips
20) Nilbog milk, though gross, is free
21) you can ask you spouse "who are the goblins" and they wont laugh you out the room, then call your mutual friends and tell them what a tit you are
22) goblin queens are pretty hot
23) corn on the cob can make popcorn
24) old people can create confusion with fire extinguishers
25) if you turn into a plant chainswas only feel like a tickle
26) when nilbog farmers are supposed to sleep in the evening its actually mid day
27) no one actually farms in nilbog
28) A punch to the Nuts will turn you Homo.
29) The Waites have all the major appliances
30) Vegetable Cook Books work better than any sleeping pill
31) Vegetarians in Nilbog would prefer to go to the hassle of turning meat into vegetables, rather than just eat vegetables.
32) There is nothing wrong with doing a random dance that looks more like a seizure in front of a mirror at night.
33) Doing a bench press for a prolonged time is always a good exercise.
34) going outside to have a smoke is a good way of getting 'fresh air'
35) it's ok to drink a strange ladies potion that has mist coming off of it
36) nilbog residents throw really good parties
37) ghosts randomly carry fire extinguishers with them
38) people smirk, shake and blink when they are frozen in time
39) you can tell a goblin by the shamrock-shaped pimple on its face
40) put your hands on the magic stonehenge rock and the goblins will go away
41) or you can eat a bologna sandwich in front of them
42) in fact, just pack your own lunch when visiting Nilbog
43) if your sweat is green, game over
44) harry potter, jr. does not make an appearance
45) Grandpa seth is not in hell
46. Stock up on Double Decker Bologna Sandwiches if you're going to Nilbog.